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  • My pet bird was frantically tweeting so I gave him some food....

  • My pet budgie just died of flu......

  • My pet elephant ate my orthopedic cushion......

  • My pet mouse "Elvis" died last night....

  • My pet parrot has passed away this morning from obesity....

  • My pet sloth didn't used to like moss......

  • My pet snail farts a lot....

  • My poop joke didn't win first place in the competition....

  • My psychologist told me I lack a sense......

  • My puppy always starts fights when he gets overheated....

  • My ride broke down while traveling in Egypt....

  • My sister likes taking care of chickens....

  • My slightly deaf grandfather said that he has started going to church....

  • My son asked his dad how to tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile....

  • My son asked me where poo comes from....

  • My son just pulled this out today and i admit I thought he was being silly at first then i got it....

  • My son just texted me "Dad, I'm going to hive under a cow skin"....

  • My son recently went on a birdwatching tour....

  • My son told me he doesn't understand cloning......

  • My son wanted to eat the rest of the clams we had without sharing....

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