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  • I couldn't justify the price of toilet paper......

  • I couldn't reach the top shelf, so I married someone who owned a stool....

  • I did let that sink in, but it abused my hospitality....

  • I didn't know what piss kink meant, and......

  • I didn't watch that famous documentary about paper......

  • I do the same crap everyday......

  • I don't always Whoop, but when I do....

  • I don't have a lot of vices....

  • I don't know if tampons are the best invention ever....

  • I don't like getting diarrhea....

  • I don't understand face care products......

  • I don't use that laxative anymore....

  • I dreamt last night that my spirit arose from a toilet bowl....

  • I dropped my glasses in the toilet......

  • I enjoy singing in the shower......

  • I estimate that 95% of Reddit users pick their nose and eat it, 50% dont wash their hands after the bathroom, 12....

  • I farted to make my kid laugh but instead I just disgusted my wife....

  • I feel weird about magnets....

  • I filled my colander to let it soak....

  • I forgot to flush the toilet this morning......

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