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  • I was once asked where I see myself......

  • I was preparing for an Oktoberfest party, when my refrigerator died....

  • I was riding a train with my wife......

  • I was singing in the shower and when I came out my dad asked me if I was singing and replied with a yes....

  • I was so upset when my son sprayed water all over my face....

  • I was trying to figure out why I......

  • I was turned down for an application to a local grocery store....

  • I wear memory foam insoles in my shoes......

  • I went for a shit and noticed a little blood....

  • I went for an interview at IKEA......

  • I went to a unisex Taco Bell toilet......

  • I woke up after a long night of......

  • I would like to formally apologize here for my lewd joke about water....

  • I'd like to have a job cleaning mirrors......

  • I'd tell you a joke about my broken pencil, but....

  • I'm a DJ and a toilet brush......

  • I'm confused why Lowe's delivered my bathroom vanity......

  • I'm joining a protest against poop....

  • I'm no longer allowed to make toilet jokes......

  • I'm not bragging or anything......

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