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  • I like to boil my giant load of......

  • I like to wear my apron to work......

  • I made a belt out of some old watches I had lying around, it was so big it couldn't even fit me....

  • I made a belt out of watches......

  • I made a belt with watches....

  • I married my wife for her looks......

  • I mentioned to my wife that her lingerie is quite revealing....

  • I must have slept like a baby last night!...

  • I named my bidet "Netflix"....

  • I named my dogs Timex and Rolex....

  • I needed to heat up my cycling gear......

  • I never understood the appeal of bandanas....

  • I once made a belt out of $100 bills....

  • I ordered a baseball cap online and I really got ripped off....

  • I put a picture of myself in a pendant....

  • I put on a chinese finger trap as......

  • I put on my atheist shoes this morning....

  • I realized as soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns....

  • I realized that I hadn't opened the box......

  • I really enjoyed removing my jacket from the curved piece of metal....

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