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  • My neighbor who loves to BBQ was arrested yesterday....

  • My pastor went to prison......

  • My professional team of thieves were tasked with......

  • My sister is a bitch "CMV"......

  • My son is refusing to nap......

  • My son's friend told me his name was......

  • My wife and I went to a fancy dress party last night, we went as bank robbers....

  • My wife called me while I was...

  • My wife got caught breaking a mannequin....

  • My wife wants me to take her out on her birthday....

  • Never break someone's heart, they only have one......

  • Never break someone's heart....

  • Never name your daughter "Amber"......

  • Never tell a joke to Optimus Prime....

  • Nick Vujicic was accused...

  • o the thief who took my Alka Seltzer,......

  • Once a man was found caging a number......

  • One of my friends was kidnapped by a bunch of mimes....

  • One of my friends was shot 7 times....

  • One of the villains from Scooby Doo would have won an Olympic gold medal....

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