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I couldn't find the obituaries in the newspaper......
I dated a zombie once......
I don't like to beat around the bush......
I don't listen to stories spoken by skeletons....
I donated my dead dog to the local high school science class....
I drove past a dead opossum and...
I fainted in the curry house when i heard REM had split up....
I fell off a book once......
I fell out of my tree stand while archery hunting and all of my arrows broke....
I fight for the marines......
I fight in the marines......
I figured out why the titanic submarine imploded....
I finally got my wife to have sex......
I flipped over the calendar page for this month and it was gone....
I found the titanic sub!...
I got fired for telling customers if they wanted "smoking or non-smoking"....
I got hit on the head with a book....
I got shot yesterday....
I got stabbed by an electric guitar once....
I guy shoplifted some candy but ate it so fast he choked on it and died....
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