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  • My family watched as I was brutally killed....

  • My father died last week....

  • My favorite songwriter died recently......

  • My friend Bob died because I couldn't remember his blood type....

  • My friend died after eating a fruit salad....

  • My friend died from drinking a whole bottle......

  • My friend thought using a jackhammer to destroy......

  • My friend was arrested for killing someone with......

  • My friend works on a farm, and they told me how one of the animals somehow ate C-4 explosives....

  • My friends roommate broke the ceramic insert to......

  • My friends went tent camping on the beach, and were eaten by marine mammals....

  • My germaphobe dad was fired from his job at the funeral home....

  • My girlfriend died in a freak elevator accident....

  • My gran gran died recently....

  • My grandfather died after falling in a bowl of fruit cake mix....

  • My grandfather spent his whole life in the kebab business, but instead of following in his steps I buried him with all his equipment....

  • My grandfather's last request before he passed was for his ashes to be put into a spray bottle with water and spritzed onto his prized plants....

  • My grandma always used to say "slow and steady wins the race....

  • My grandpa died because we couldn't remember his blood type....

  • My Grandpa passed away recently......

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