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  • I asked my wife if the cup was......

  • I bought some powdered water....

  • I can never remember whether it is called startER fluid or StartING fluid....

  • I can't seem to find my bag of kettle corn....

  • I don't get the appeal for chemistry jokes....

  • I found a box of Viagra last night, the stupid things didn't work....

  • I had an idea to create an ocean of orange soda....

  • I heard Alec started production on Rust again....

  • I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40....

  • I keep hearing from the end of the bar I frequent, "Hey you, I fucked your mother last night!...

  • I like playing with tapioca balls......

  • I make great chai...

  • I mixed up the words Jakuzzi and Yakuza......

  • I never understood Antifa....

  • I spent 5 hours in the ER after......

  • I spilled tea on my MacBook......

  • I told the waiter there's a fly...

  • I took some ayahuasca at Jiffy Lube...

  • I tried snorting Coke......

  • I used to tell the truth all the time and now I just "spill the T"....

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