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My girlfriend said she was going out to get some new lip fillers....
My girlfriend told me she smelled beer on my breath but I said it was frog's legs....
My grandfather owns a stallion called Mayo......
My grandma and I sat down for a long chat over tea while she reminisced about her childhood vacations to her favorite city in France....
My HOA asked for a small contribution toward......
My husband came home late last night and......
My husband doesn't like Subs with Mayo......
My Jewish cousin started a coffee shop and he gave it a unique name....
My job is to crush cans all day....
My kids asked me if i knew any dad jokes about architecture....
My lactose intolerant friend wants to drink milk....
My last girlfriend broke up with me over a misunderstanding....
My mate sent me a drunk text....
My mates and I went on a wild pub crawl in Stratford upon Avon all dressed as William Shakespeare....
My mom said I would be grounded if I touched the silverware....
My mother-in-law doesn't allow anyone to have a good time when she's drinking at family gatherings....
My parents asked me to grab 6 cans......
My sister reached into the Cherrios box and brought her hands to her face making Cherrios glasses one 'O' at a time....
My SO asked me to put a bottle......
My son asked me for sultanas the other......
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