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Every time Einstein masturbated......
Every time I drink wine....
Every time I go to the liquor store,......
Every time I have chickpeas I feel like......
Every time I make a dad joke I......
Every time I tell my wife a "dad joke", she gets riled up and starts to treat my like a piece of meat....
Every time I try to fold a fitted sheet I tell my wife that I gotta get my sheet together....
Every time my dad drove past a cemetery......
Every time PI is substituted with 22/7......
Every time when I lay the children down......
Everybody loves boiling water....
Everyone hates dad jokes......
Everyone is all confused about this affirmative action ruling....
Everyone is scared of picking out a coffin......
Everyone is so judgemental......
Everyone keeps making jokes about the sinking sub......
Everyone keeps telling me how good pears taste....
Everyone knows Karl Marx as the founder of Communism....
Everyone on the lake but us is building docks for their boats....
Everyone tells me that Eminem is a rapper....
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