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  • I accidentally ate a whole pot of invisible......

  • I accidentally ate some C4 and it didn't agree with me....

  • I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course....

  • I accidentally coughed at a police officer's face......

  • I accidentally dropped a bucket of paint on my boss at the job site....

  • I accidentally dropped a bucket of paint on......

  • I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick......

  • I accidentally glued my thumb to my index......

  • I accidentally ordered a medium frozen cherry drink instead of the large....

  • I accidentally passed my wife a glue stick......

  • I accidentally put a condom on backwards......

  • I accidentally sat on my favorite pair of......

  • I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble Tiles....

  • I accidentally swallowed some food coloring....

  • I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles......

  • I almost bought an edging shovel at Home Depot today....

  • I almost forgot a joke about throwing a boomerang....

  • I almost got arrested for 'stealing' from an art gallery....

  • I almost got in a wreck at lunch....

  • I almost never laugh at airplane jokes......

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