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  • I guess I really am getting old and out of touch....

  • I guess it doesn't matter to my wife that I sat at our kitchen island all day and completed our annual taxes....

  • I guy shoplifted some candy but ate it so fast he choked on it and died....

  • I had a bad sandwich the other day....

  • I had a bf named Ling who cheated on me....

  • I had a brief Relationship with a girl who worked at a camera factory....

  • I had a bumpy flight yesterday due to a strong wind carrying shit that hit the plane....

  • I had a chat with my tools whilst......

  • I had a colectomy;...

  • I had a discussion with my cow......

  • I had a dream about a guy that had lost his hand....

  • I had a dream last night about a horse....

  • I had a dream last night that I ate a giant marshmallow....

  • I had a dream once where I was......

  • I had a dream that a ship carrying soda capsized....

  • I had a dream that I was a bicycle....

  • I had a dream that I weighed a thousandth of a gram....

  • I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram....

  • I had a dream that Peppermint Patty partnered with Fig Newtons for a new kind of snack treat....

  • I had a dream where I was working, but then I woke up....

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