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  • I was addicted to the hockey pockey......

  • I was alone in the bath....

  • I was always told to never lie while......

  • I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday....

  • I was arresting for doing donuts in a Walmart parking lot....

  • I was asked if I have a negative......

  • I was asked to carry the casket for my friend's funeral....

  • I was asked why I wanted to be cremated, rather then buried....

  • I was asked why I wanted to be cremated....

  • I was at a bar last night when I saw a sign in the bathroom that madre me shit my pants....

  • I was at a celebrity gathering and slapped......

  • I was at the beach and I heard a man in the water yelling "Help, shark!...

  • I was at the Laundromat, watching a woman......

  • I was at the library when I...

  • I was at the park wondering why this......

  • I was at the pub last night & a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me....

  • I was awake all night wondering why I......

  • I was booing the local team when some guy asked me, "You're not a fan?...

  • I was bored......

  • I was born after Colin Firth......

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