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  • My kid accidentally fell asleep yesterday on a bunch of jigsaw tiles....

  • My kid and I were walking through security at the Los Angeles airport, and he was understandably nervous....

  • My kid gave me a "traffic ticket" today......

  • My kid messaged me saying they were going......

  • My kid switched from art college to dental......

  • My kids always have trouble putting Lego Minifigures together....

  • My kids and I were having a great time rummaging through my late grandfather's prized possessions....

  • My kids asked me if there are dad jokes why aren't there any mom jokes?...

  • My kids debate teacher has a habit of being rough on students and she said he ate her alive today....

  • My kids like to make humorous remarks about me at my expense....

  • My kids love it when I cook during allergy season....

  • My kids make me proud....

  • My kids missed me today....

  • My kids started experiencing mental breakdowns after I told them a series of my latest dad jokes....

  • My kids were surprised to find out that my favorite song was actually Pretty Fly....

  • My Korean friend died last week......

  • My landlord asked me to say nice things to the small opening in my door....

  • My landlord was upset when I refused to tell him who my favourite RnB singer is....

  • My last girlfriend broke up with me over a misunderstanding....

  • My last girlfriend really lit up the room wherever she went....

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