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  • At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?...

  • At the pub last night, I met someome claiming to be an 80s pop star....

  • At what point do you think a joke becomes a dad joke?...

  • Attempts to to stop prices rises......

  • Back in the day, I actually use to kick it with Joe Bedin....

  • Back in the old days, Florida was as swing state....

  • Bakers hate making flatbread......

  • Ban pre-shredded cheese......

  • Bar Joke......

  • Barbie Dolls create unrealistic expectations for men....

  • Barista in a Paris called me a horrible......

  • bartender: go home you're drunk...

  • Be careful watching emotional movies with a snow globe....

  • Be warned!...

  • Became a dad a few days ago......

  • Been at the ER all day and night....

  • Been really digging on this Clara chick I met at a bar a few weeks ago, and finally broke up with that wench, Elaine, last night....

  • Before Halloween, I ordered a costume on Amazon of my favorite literary character, but it STILL hasn't arrived....

  • Before I started working at the horse farm, my life was in complete shambles....

  • Being a dad, I feel like Sysophys......

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