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  • Every time I have chickpeas I feel like......

  • Every time I make a dad joke I......

  • Every time I tell my wife a "dad joke", she gets riled up and starts to treat my like a piece of meat....

  • Every time I try to fold a fitted sheet I tell my wife that I gotta get my sheet together....

  • Every time my dad drove past a cemetery......

  • Every time PI is substituted with 22/7......

  • Everybody loves boiling water....

  • Everyone hates dad jokes......

  • Everyone is all confused about this affirmative action ruling....

  • Everyone is so judgemental......

  • Everyone keeps making jokes about the sinking sub......

  • Everyone keeps telling me how good pears taste....

  • Everyone on the lake but us is building docks for their boats....

  • Everyone was getting into different lines depending on......

  • Everything I do turns to crap......

  • Ex-Wife, after she demanded half an hour non-stop......

  • Exhausted after every date with this gorgeous dominatrix....

  • Exit Closed......

  • Exothermic reactions are all the rage now....

  • Eye roll......

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