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Every time I have chickpeas I feel like......
Every time I make a dad joke I......
Every time I tell my wife a "dad joke", she gets riled up and starts to treat my like a piece of meat....
Every time I try to fold a fitted sheet I tell my wife that I gotta get my sheet together....
Every time my dad drove past a cemetery......
Every time PI is substituted with 22/7......
Everybody loves boiling water....
Everyone hates dad jokes......
Everyone is all confused about this affirmative action ruling....
Everyone is so judgemental......
Everyone keeps making jokes about the sinking sub......
Everyone keeps telling me how good pears taste....
Everyone on the lake but us is building docks for their boats....
Everyone was getting into different lines depending on......
Everything I do turns to crap......
Ex-Wife, after she demanded half an hour non-stop......
Exhausted after every date with this gorgeous dominatrix....
Exit Closed......
Exothermic reactions are all the rage now....
Eye roll......
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