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  • I went too deep and messed up my......

  • I will never face Karma......

  • I will never forget my grandpa's last words......

  • I will NEVER let a bird poop on my time piece....

  • I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal....

  • I wish I could stop thinking that Satan is hiding from me in a ditch somewhere....

  • I wish my lawn was emo......

  • I wish parents would stop posting videos of their sick kids on instagram....

  • I wish the "Price is Right" would partner with the Dollar Store....

  • I woke up feeling Happy....

  • I woke up to find my mustache was missing this morning....

  • I woke up with stir fry all over......

  • I work in a machine shop and someone stole all of our aluminum billets last night....

  • I work in shoe repair, ripping the bottoms......

  • I worked in a factory cutting marble and granite slabs for kitchen surfaces....

  • I would like to formally apologize here for my lewd joke about water....

  • I would like to piss into the wind......

  • I would like to piss outside but it's......

  • I would never let my son join the orchestra....

  • I would talk about Valentine's Day....

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