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To whoever stole my magazines:...
To whoever stole my place in line at the grocery store....
Today I got a letter of rejection from origami college....
Today I grabbed my wife's hand, kissed the top of it, and said to her....
Today I really screwed Up......
Today i returned my wife's new glasses....
Today i returned my wooden whistle....
Today I stepped on my wife's bra....
Today I'm really fed up of babysitting....
Today is my first day working as a Garbage man, with no official training either....
Today is not the day for OJ Simpson......
Today my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach....
Today someone stole my limbo stick......
Today you're getting 30 spankings to remind you who's your daddy....
Today, a man was found guilty of...
Today, I asked my phone "Siri, why am I still single?...
Today's appellate ruling in Trump's bond made me realize our justice system is crying....
Told dad jokes before I was a father......
Told my wife our next door neighbor died She said "Who?...
Told my wife our next door neighbor died......
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