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  • My professional team of thieves were tasked with......

  • My puppy always starts fights when he gets overheated....

  • My show idea about the stringed instruments of different religions was rejected....

  • My sister has a Michael Jackson phobia....

  • My sister in law is allergic to allergy......

  • My sister said there's no way you can build a car out of spaghetti....

  • My sister tried to clone me by dividing cells from my toe....

  • My son asked me why I wouldn't tell him if the fairy that took his teeth was real or not....

  • My son asked:...

  • My son called me yesterday and said he couldn't go back to work after what his boss said to him....

  • My son hit me with an insect shaped cookie sheet....

  • My son is refusing to nap......

  • My son just enlisted in the army......

  • My son refuses to take medicine when he's sick....

  • My son said he shouldn't go to school because he's been constipated for three days....

  • My son was chewing on electrical cord cords so I had to ground him....

  • My son was frustrated because apparently he just doesn't understand girls....

  • My SUV navigation system keeps taking me off-road....

  • My town tried to outlaw panini sandwiches, but......

  • My vegetarian girlfriend from New Jersey got mad at me and started yelling at me....

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