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To the person who stole my Microsoft Office:...
To the person who stole my place in line....
To the person who stole my Thesaurus....
To whoever stole my identity:...
To whoever stole my place in line at the grocery store....
Today I bought a 12 or old whiskey......
Today I bought a 12yr old whiskey......
Today I purchased an inexpensive watering tube....
Today I threw a cheese grater at my son, and he ran away....
Today I will be presenting mental illnesses!...
Today I'm really fed up of babysitting....
Today my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach....
Today some kid picked a fight with me in the Art Gallery....
Today, the garlic powder, peppercorns, and curry all turned against me....
Today's appellate ruling in Trump's bond made me realize our justice system is crying....
Told my dad I was going to take......
Trans day of visibility should not exist....
Tried to promote my fence building business on......
Tried to quit drinking last year....
TRIGGER WARNING:...
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