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I spent the weekend hanging out with a......
I squirted ketchup in my eyes the other day....
I stabbed multiple Kellogg's box......
I started a lending company that uses food as collateral....
I started buying full loaves of bread and......
I started calling my wife 12......
I started crying when Dad was cutting onions......
I started having conversations with my food....
I started investing in stocks....
I started my diet by removing all the fattening food from the house....
I started telling everybody about the benefits of eating dried grapes....
I started watching "How to Make a Salad"......
I stole some french fries from someone and ran off....
I stopped eating Vienna Sausage......
I stumbled upon my dyslexic cow's deepest secrets....
I switched all the spice on my wife's......
i taught my kids about democracy tonight by......
I tell everyone that the food at the......
I tell people about Cheesus......
I think I am a social vegan......
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