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  • If two vegetarians get into an argument....

  • If vegan turkey breast is fake....

  • If you ever eat Indian food, do NOT go back for seconds!...

  • If you ever leave Japan......

  • If you ever lose your pizza cutter you......

  • If you get an email about not eating canned ham because of the Swine Flu, ignore it....

  • If you go to the bakery and the only loaf of bread left is shaped like a cow, what do you tell yourself to make you feel better about buying it?...

  • If you have a Banana in each hand, and you drop one of them, what do you get?...

  • If you have any good jokes about vegetables....

  • If you have two friends named Gus, what will you always have?...

  • If you hit a mole with an avocado......

  • If you hold a sheep in one hand and a potato in the other....

  • If you make a flute out of a......

  • If you see a police car made of......

  • If you serve your children frozen chicken nuggets, you're a horrible parent....

  • If you serve your kids frozen vegetables and frozen chicken nuggets, you're a terrible parent....

  • If you shop around for pickles......

  • If you take shrooms in a meadow you are technically going on a field trip....

  • If you think of any more fish puns....

  • If you throw a tomato at someone, is it assault?...

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