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  • I burned 2000 calories today....

  • I burned my Hawaiian pizza......

  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today......

  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza....

  • I call my wife "Snickers"......

  • I called my wife a buffet......

  • I came home with Chinese takeaway....

  • I came up with a new dish for......

  • I came up with a new recipe for cooking pink salmon that uses vanilla extract....

  • I can eat a piece of string cheese and tie a half hitch in my stomach!...

  • I can finally enjoy Italian food after getting food poisoning at a restaurant....

  • I can finally make a living doing what I love - signing pickles....

  • I can tie a cherry stem with my......

  • I can't be sure but I think there's a German sausage running up and down my road....

  • I can't believe Gordon Ramsay overcooked his steak......

  • I can't believe my closest friends stole my marshmallow Easter candy....

  • I can't believe someone broke into my house and stole all my fruit!...

  • I can't believe that there's people out there who don't like pickles....

  • I can't find ANY good podcasts about Cooking steak!...

  • I can't prove that the rear part of......

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