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  • I quit gambling......

  • I read a book about sponges......

  • I stole a board game the other day....

  • I threw an Asian down the stairs......

  • I threw my dice into a river in China....

  • I took some pesto bismol at the casino......

  • I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette....

  • I used to think birds weren't really good......

  • I was a professional poker player till I broke my arm....

  • I was in Hong Kong......

  • I was in Vegas and I ended up......

  • I was playing craps at the casino and......

  • I was playing poker and my opponent was on the phone with a steep shoreline slope that has three feet or more of vertical elevation just above the high tide line behind my house....

  • I was thinking, Gambling Addiction Helplines would be....

  • I was walking around an insane asylum when i noticed an abundance of marbles laying around on the ground....

  • I wasnt allowed to bring my frogs into......

  • I went to a Loverboy concert last weekend, and bought a nice pair of themed dice....

  • I won't tell anyone I spent my lottery......

  • I would like to reach the Pinnacle of the dad jokes Spectrum, yet I don't have children and the doctor just told me my chances don't look good going forward....

  • I'll be father in September and I changed......

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