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  • Don't enter the limbo contest by yourself....

  • Don't ever tell a cop you think their gun is fake....

  • Don't fall in love with a tennis player....

  • Don't judge Raphael because he has the smallest weapon of the Ninja Turtles....

  • Don't know why my friend was complaining when his girlfriend locked him in her basement and told him that he would be the only guy she wants to see for the rest of her life....

  • Don't throw a fit if your beach volleyball team is defeated....

  • Don't throw a fit if your beach volleyball team loses....

  • Don't trust mathematicians, they're sneaky....

  • Don't try to tie Santa's shoes....

  • Done be afraid of defeat......

  • Down at the Guild of Wizards Who Exclusively Use Wands, everyone was frantically running around trying to get their work done....

  • Dreamt I told a great Titan joke....

  • Due to a case of mistaken identity, I've......

  • During a recent password audit it was discovered that someone was using the following password:...

  • During a UNO game, everyone got to hand out the cards, except me....

  • Ebay is so useless....

  • Electrical instructions are just click bait....

  • Ever hear the one about the Japanese puzzle enthusiast who killed himself?...

  • Ever since my child came out to me, I've been trying to praise him, but he seems afraid, I'll leave....

  • Every morning I announce to the family that I'm going jogging, but then I don't go....

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