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  • I asked the well guy how the construction of our new well was going yesterday....

  • I auditioned for the role of Houdini in......

  • I booked a table for Valentines night tonight and I just hope it goes better than last year....

  • I borrowed all of my poorly friends money......

  • I bought a 4K TV for $1000....

  • I bought a christmas tree today....

  • I briefly courted a girl on my mock trial team....

  • I broke up with my girlfriend because she......

  • I broke up with my vegetarian gf over......

  • I broke up with this girl named Ruth......

  • I bumped into a beautiful woman while out....

  • I called my wife a buffet......

  • I called out sick today....

  • I called the child abuse hotline......

  • I called the local dairy and told them to deliver milk to me so I could take a bath in it....

  • I called the police after my closet got robbed and they asked me for a brief description....

  • I came across a joke about some Numbers......

  • I came home with Chinese takeaway....

  • I can't afford to play tennis anymore....

  • I confessed to my therapist the shame I feel for finding my reflection sexually arousing....

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