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  • I made a belt out of watches......

  • I made friends with the store owner next to my store....

  • I make a living out of sandwich...

  • I managed to escape Neverland Ranch by taking refuge in a nearby Catholic church....

  • I may be old, but I feel like I'm going through my teenage years all over again....

  • I may not be a UPS worker......

  • I met a civil engineer named Robert...

  • I met a girl online, and arranged a blind date with her at the gym....

  • I met a guy in a wheelchair once and he told me he was sad because he couldnt do anything he wanted....

  • I met a lumberjack......

  • I met a man for the first time, and he asked me for my name....

  • I met Hannibal Lecter's brother this week, and learned he is even more sadistic....

  • I met my new Japanese neighbor today, but i he doesn't speak english....

  • I named my toilet jim......

  • I never drive alone......

  • I never have enough money to play...

  • I never ride my bike in the area near the mental health hospital....

  • I no speaking english good......

  • I offered my elderly neighbor $100 to give me a ride on her stairlift....

  • I once asked dad the difference between confident......

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