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  • My kid asked me what the word "unexpected" meant....

  • My kid dropped a brilliant Greek Mythology pun......

  • My kid dropped this brilliant pun on me......

  • My kid gave me a "traffic ticket" today......

  • My kid messaged me saying they were going......

  • My kid said he didn't know what Armageddon......

  • My kids and I were having a great time rummaging through my late grandfather's prized possessions....

  • My kids and the rest of their grade taking a drama course put on an outstanding performance in their lecture hall....

  • My kids asked if we could connect with our ancestors in the spirit world for Halloween this year....

  • My kids asked me if i knew any dad jokes about architecture....

  • My kids asked me if there are dad jokes why aren't there any mom jokes?...

  • My kids just told me that I own every board game except one....

  • My kids keep wanting to upgrade to the latest video game system JUST so they can play the latest and greatest Football video game....

  • My kids make me proud....

  • My kids started experiencing mental breakdowns after I told them a series of my latest dad jokes....

  • My kids were picking out just the green ones from a mixed olive jar....

  • My landlord asked me to say nice things to the small opening in my door....

  • My landscaper was running late, he was supposed to aerate the lawn this morning....

  • My local bakery is charging one of its customers the cost of plumbing after said customer entered their establishment only to purchase a single baked good, then proceeded to unleash two violent bowel movements on one of their toilets....

  • My manager told me to have a good day....

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