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  • To the person who stole all the bulbs......

  • To those of you who feed on praise....

  • To whoever said that life would get back to normal after June....

  • To whoever stole my security camera......

  • Today a woman knocked on my door...

  • Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance....

  • Today at the gym i asked a hot girl what her new year's resolution was....

  • Today I found out that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins....

  • Today I purchased an inexpensive watering tube....

  • Today I went to a Birthday Party that I was dreading by riding on the roof of my Honda....

  • Today is my 2 year old niece's day......

  • Today is Saint Patrick's Day....

  • Today my mom told me that one of the stove burners is getting too hot and to watch out when cooking....

  • today my son asked me, "can i have a book mark?...

  • Today my wife asked me why there were holes in my pants....

  • Today someone asked me if I needed help......

  • Today someone told me that I look good with a salt-and-pepper beard....

  • Today, American Pres....

  • Today, my 11-year-old son asked, "Can I have a bookmark?...

  • Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?...

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