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My surgeon asked me if I wanted modern anesthetic or the old fashioned kind....
My tape measure isn't rigid enough....
My tattooist wife stops all the time when......
My taxidermist invited us over for a...
My tenant cancelled the lease on his apartment to enlist in the military....
My Tinder bio says very honestly that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, that I drive a $500k vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel....
My tractor left me....
My tree was dying so I tried rebuilding its branches with duct tape....
My tree was dying so I tried repairing it with duct tape....
My twin boys want to be a valet when they grow up....
My Uber driver cares about my mental well-being......
My Uber Eats driver ripped me off...
My uncle was a successful farmer......
My weightlifting friend has a job raising electric lines....
My wife asked me if I had already......
My wife asked me to tell her a......
My wife asked why there was a blanket......
My wife came up to me tonight frustrated and said, "I suck at vacuuming....
My wife couldn't reach the top shelf so I offered to get my father's second ladder....
My wife demanded I stop taking Viagra each morning before I leave for the office, and replace it with Omega-3 and B vitamins....
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