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  • Money has to grow on trees....

  • Most climbers enjoy going up a mountain, but I prefer going down....

  • My 16-year-old son was in a lengthy video call with his girlfriend, and he wouldn't leave his room to join us for dinner....

  • My 8 year old finally came out to......

  • My black kitten is growing long and skinny, I've been told that she looks like a Egyptian cat....

  • My book on clocks finally arrived....

  • My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick....

  • My calendar skips from April to June......

  • My ceiling isn't the best....

  • My clothes are always wrinkly....

  • My Dad said, "I'm afraid of the calendar"......

  • My daughter is going on a date tonight......

  • My dear old grandad keeps going on about a parallel universe where everyone has a great view of the longest river in Africa....

  • My doctor said I only had 5 to live....

  • My doctor told me to run 5 miles a day....

  • My dogs coat would get matted and tangled......

  • My egotistical sister liked to ride tall ponies......

  • My English teacher taught me a new word:...

  • My favourite shop has closed its doors in......

  • My first home had three-foot ceilings....

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