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  • I told my psychiatrist that I have a......

  • I told my wife I could increase her......

  • I told the doctor it felt like I had 100 of those Irish line dancers pounding away in my chest....

  • I took a pill that caused me to pass out and poop my pants....

  • I took my daughter to the pediatrician after she wouldn't stop spinning around for five days....

  • I took some ayahuasca at Jiffy Lube...

  • I took viagra last night......

  • I tried explaining to my 4 year old......

  • I tried to get my buddy a pazone......

  • I tried to talk to my kids about......

  • I tried to tip my Doctor, who also specializes in treating little people....

  • I used to disapprove of organ transplants....

  • I used to have horrible knee pain....

  • I used to take Viagra before heading out to the office....

  • I want to open a hearing clinic for ear pain....

  • I wanted to be a doctor......

  • I was a failure as a doctor......

  • I was at the doctor's office today and the sign said, "Interpreter available upon request....

  • I was diagnosed with kleptomania....

  • I was feeling sad today....

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