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I told my wife that she looks like she's 763941....
I totally misunderstood the meaning behind Pride Month....
I tried computer dating once....
I tried reading Zeno's paradox....
I turn 37 next week....
I turned 33 years old today....
I used to work at a toy...
I was encouraged to try learning the drums to take my mind off my porn addiction....
I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?...
I was going to buy a hairpiece but......
I went to a 45 cent concert......
I went to a bee keeper and...
I went to buy 6 cans of Sprite......
I won 1 million dollars and donated a quarter of it to charity....
I'm learning to count in Spanish but have never made it past ten....
I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events....
I'm thinking of a number 1-to-5, what...
I've been drinking baby formula for 3....
I've got a joke about 288 but I......
I've got a son who can't say please......
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