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  • I just bought the worst thesaurus....

  • I just broke my guitar....

  • I just came out of the closet and,......

  • I just checked Wikipedia's page on "Eye Strain"....

  • I just cloned my mexican friend......

  • I just completed a study on the effects of walking after consuming too much alcohol....

  • I just created a Threads account....

  • I just cut a new pattern in the lawn....

  • I just figured out why it takes my dog a moment before he responds to me....

  • I just filmed a 12 hour long movie featuring a bundle of herbs being dragged around a clock face....

  • I just finally learned how to put my pants on today....

  • I just finished a book about narcolepsy treatments....

  • I just finished reading "Life Inside The Gulag"....

  • I just finished reading "The Frenchman and The Tiger"....

  • I just finished reading "The Irish Decorator"......

  • I just finished reading a book on antigravity....

  • I just finished watching a documentary about beavers....

  • I just flunked out of barber school......

  • I just found a reel showing how people with cataracts see the world....

  • I just found out I'm colorblind!...

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