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  • I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal, a dog....

  • I went to the zoo the other day,......

  • I went to this Italian joint in the capitol of Latvia recently....

  • I went to visit a psychic....

  • I went to visit some of the Spanish Missions in California on a recent road trip....

  • I went to watch a venture capitalist do stand up comedy....

  • I went too deep and messed up my......

  • I will cure my insomnia, I swear....

  • I will give you one of the important......

  • I will never trust elevators....

  • I will set the profits I'm making from selling umbrellas aside....

  • I wish my gray hair started in Las......

  • I wish my lawn was emo......

  • I wish to take images of this weekend to share with my future son Jeff....

  • I witnessed a Middle Eastern food truck being......

  • I witnessed a truck full of quinoa, crash......

  • I woke up feeling Happy....

  • I woke up from a nap at the park to find that someone had their gun drawn on me!...

  • I woke up to find my mustache was missing this morning....

  • I won 1 million dollars and donated a quarter of it to charity....

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