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  • I've been banned for life from using my......

  • I've been banned from the secret cooking society....

  • I've been banned from using my life preserving......

  • I've been building my comment karma for the sole reason of posting this dad joke....

  • I've been counting down my Dad's birthdays until he's 50....

  • I've been doing tests on a new refreshing flavor of gum....

  • I've been euphoric since I discovered grunge music......

  • I've been experiencing a lot of pain when I drive my friends through an underpass....

  • I've been having a lot of hallucinations lately....

  • I've been in a debate with "free the nipple" activist....

  • I've been intimate with......

  • I've been knitting for close to year now......

  • I've been learning sign language recently......

  • I've been looking at the numbers on a clock....

  • I've been on edge ever since my last......

  • I've been putting off telling a Bob Marley joke for quite a while....

  • I've been putting up pictures of the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building and the Radio City Music Hall in order of how appealing I find them in but in a much smaller apartment than I used to have last year....

  • I've been reading this great book about beards......

  • I've been sacked as the singer in a D:...

  • I've been seeing a counselor who uses Dad......

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