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If you suck at playing any brass instruments....
If you think today, Thursday is depressing....
If you thought Bruce and his son Brandon......
If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday ....
If you want to change the world, do it while you're single....
If you want to hear any furniture...
If you want to put extra muscle on your lower legs, make sure you drink milk....
If you wear a suit jacket on a......
If you were born in September, it's pretty......
If you work for a political campaign, sometimes you have to bang on every door in an entire neighborhood....
If you write a second book about electric bicycles....
If you write three intensely suspenseful, interconnected novels....
If you're a car owner, you may be entitled to compensation due to defective windows in your vehicle....
If you're American before you go to the bathroom and American when you come out what are you while you are in there?...
If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom?...
If you're an American, are you still an American when you use the toilet?...
If you're dating someone who doesn't like Star Wars puns....
If you're driving in America you need to......
If you're ever stuck on an island make......
If you're feeling lonely......
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