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  • "This is the police, open up"......

  • "What do you want for your birthday?...

  • "What we girls think, after the first...

  • "What's it like outside?...

  • "When one door closes, another one opens....

  • "Who's in for bringing back roman numerals?...

  • "Why are you calling me Archibald?...

  • "You can't cut me down," the tree said to the lumberjack....

  • "You know the name of the closest star in the sky ?...

  • "You look like a standup comedian!...

  • "You might become better with computers if you use my mouse," said my friend....

  • "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry....

  • "Your underwear is much too tight and revealing," I said to my wife....

  • (Courtesy of my brother) What do you call a vegan trans man?...

  • (I just read this online) What's the difference between people from Dubai and Abu Dhabi?...

  • (In an alternate universe made of anti-matter)......

  • (Kind of niche to MLB fans, but) Did I tell you about the time I walked by Wrigley and caught a glimpse of the Cubs left-fielder taking batting practice?...

  • (Long) Two men were stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean....

  • (New) When does a joke become a dad joke?...

  • (OC) Did you hear about the marine biologist who cured the sick dolphin's problems by standing on top of it?...

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