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  • When my wife died, I couldn't look at other women for 10 years....

  • When one door closes, another door opens....

  • When people in hell get angry with...

  • When people learn how to do locomotive/train things, do they call it:...

  • When people say, "He cut the cheese," what kind of cheese are they referring to?...

  • When people tell me I'm crazy....

  • When Robin Hood's religious chum took up philosophy....

  • When sailors say land hoe....

  • When should a carpenter use a level?...

  • When someone asks me what I do for......

  • When someone fails at performing the heimlich maneuver......

  • When someone tells me they are going to take a piss or sh!...

  • When the aliens abducted me, they made me wash my hands, eat vegetables and clean the room they put me in....

  • When the coolest doctor in the hospital is away, who does he get to cover him?...

  • When the cops caught the guy who stole the meat truck....

  • When the felon was caught hiding under a barrel of liquor, it caused some confusion....

  • When the limo I rented arrived, the guy driving it just walked away....

  • When the person in the banana suit told a joke....

  • When the President of the United States calls you for directions on what he must do to change the color of his t-shirt....

  • When the psychic was sent to fight the dragon....

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