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TL;...
To all the dads who haven gotten lucky all year....
To any of you with Mexican mothers....
To anyone out there considering cutting their hair short on top and long in the back, before making that decision....
To everyone saying to stop singing Queen......
To everyone who said I wouldn't amount to anything because of my procrastination....
To prove he was right, the flat-earther walked to the end of the Earth....
To regular people, khakis are a specific type......
To ride a horse or not to ride a horse?...
To ride or not to ride a horse,......
To stay out of hot water when brewing a pun ....
To sum up my parents:...
To the car detailer that waxed my car with paint deglosser....
To the guy that invented dedicated motorcycle parking spaces....
To the guy who invented masturbation....
To the people who banned utensils from fast food and drink places in order to save the environment....
To the person who cut in front of me in line....
To the person who drew me the solid objects on a two-dimensional surface so as to give the right impression of their height, width, depth, and position in relation to each other when viewed from a particular point....
To the person who invented the concept of "zero"....
To the person who stole all the bulbs......
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