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  • My friend never believed when I told him his grandma wasn't normal until she retired and spent her life savings traveling the world collecting guano samples....

  • My friend owns a bakery and he gave me some bear claws....

  • My friend said to me that the aliens......

  • My friend told me she wouldn't eat beef tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth....

  • My friend told me they have aphantasia......

  • My friend took an exam on Australian musical instruments but didn't pass....

  • My friend was having a hard time trying to convince me that I was so drunk the night before that I had dressed up and acted like a member of Abba all night....

  • My friend, Midas is a bit of douche......

  • My friends keep on making jokes about the......

  • My German friend dropped me off at the airport and said:...

  • My ghost friend is unhappy about being exorcised....

  • my girlfriend asked me who my favorite vampire is....

  • My girlfriend didn't know what size to pick when we were shopping for clothes....

  • My girlfriend just learnt about the brain-eating amoeba....

  • My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating flamingos......

  • My goofy friends just told me that the......

  • My goth girlfriend said she loves me for......

  • My grandfather had the heart of a lion....

  • My grandma lost one of her needles for......

  • My grandpa has the heart of a lion......

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