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  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend....

  • I always carry a bismuth crystal with me......

  • I always dreamed of becoming a baker....

  • I always hated the Jolly Green Giant....

  • I always try to tell Peter Pan jokes......

  • I always wanted to be a Gregorian...

  • I am gonna make a joke about kleptomaniacs......

  • I am in the running for the top prize for poetry written about a hen!...

  • I am not really interested in jokes about the German girl's zoo animals....

  • I am sick of long winded fables of brave knights....

  • I am so old that I remember thinking that tinnitus was an STD that people got from the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz....

  • I am totally enthralled with the new Netflix documentary on beavers....

  • I applied for a job at a haunted......

  • I applied for a new job, filling in for a dwarf who is currently on maternity leave ....

  • I asked a librarian if she had a book on Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat....

  • I asked a librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels....

  • I asked a Lion what it was doing in my wardrobe....

  • I asked a zombie reanimator out on a......

  • I asked dad to explain what dandruff is....

  • I asked my grandfather to make the same......

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