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  • I wrote down all of my puns on very thin paper....

  • I wrote down all the things that were wrong with, or needed to be repaired on, my new boat....

  • I wrote my autobiography but it didn't get published....

  • I'd like to dedicate this next joke to my dad who was a roof tiler....

  • I'd like to introduce myself....

  • I'd like to take a moment to say that I endorse podiums....

  • I'd like to take just a moment to address an animal rights issue that happens literally every day yet continues to fly under the radar....

  • I'll have to make you my own chicken tortilla soup!...

  • I'll have to use helium, neon, krypton, xenon, or radon for this because all the other noble gases....

  • I'll never forget being on the altar when my bride-to-be said "A, E, I, O, U"....

  • I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket....

  • I'll never forget my Grandfather's last words to me just before he died....

  • I'll never forget what my grandpa said just before he kicked the bucket....

  • I'll never forget what my Grandpa said to me just before he kicked the bucket....

  • I'll never forget what my mom said to me before leaving for college....

  • I'll tell you what always catches my eye....

  • I'm 45 and I'm just finishing my first book....

  • I'm a big fantasy reader....

  • I'm a die-hard protester, as opposed to my students....

  • I'm a floral biologist who breeds plants in their free time....

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