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  • I've always wanted to be a calendar designer....

  • I've been assigned to investigate a German cheese factory....

  • I've been banned for life from using my......

  • I've been banned from using my life preserving......

  • I've been building my comment karma for the sole reason of posting this dad joke....

  • I've been counting down my Dad's birthdays until he's 50....

  • I've been doing tests on a new refreshing flavor of gum....

  • I've been flirting with lawyers and judges while they're at work....

  • I've been learning the names of viruses in French....

  • I've been looking at the numbers on a clock....

  • I've been putting up pictures of the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building and the Radio City Music Hall in order of how appealing I find them in but in a much smaller apartment than I used to have last year....

  • I've been reading all of your "jokes" on here for a while and I would like to say just one thing....

  • I've been reading this great book about beards......

  • I've been struggling with amnesia......

  • I've been teaching my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruit recently....

  • I've been thinking about baby Yoda, and what his first word will be....

  • I've been thinking about taking up meditation......

  • I've been trying for years to come up with an original Dad Joke....

  • I've been trying to set a record for the quickest time to read the entire dictionary....

  • I've been waiting a long time to tell......

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