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  • I broke my glasses when I was visiting an island chain in Southwest Alaska....

  • I called the incontinence hotline yesterday......

  • I called the suicide hotline......

  • I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it....

  • I can finally make a living doing what I love - signing pickles....

  • I can't plan more than seven days ahead....

  • I can't understand....

  • I can't wait for dinner, I could eat for a whole country!...

  • I can't wait for this fall to travel to my other property in Singapore or Malaysia or Indonesia or somewhere around there....

  • I cant put my money in my pocket......

  • I caught one of my art students eating all the red clay....

  • I changed my password to "incorrect"......

  • I collect records......

  • I conducted thorough research about anal sex....

  • I could not find a singing partner,......

  • I could walk through this screen door right now....

  • I couldn't find my underwear this morning....

  • I Couldn't Work For My Boss Anymore After He Told Me This....

  • I decided I'm going to dress up as a hotdog with a beer mug for Halloween this year....

  • I decided to break up with my game......

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