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  • I've just released my own personalised fragrance......

  • I've learned to be very suspicious of stairs....

  • I've lost 50% of my saddle......

  • I've lost my compass....

  • I've never been skydiving......

  • I've noticed on my latest road trip that usually the men's bathroom is to the left....

  • I've offered my elderly neighbor $20 to take......

  • I've offered my elderly neighbour $20 to...

  • I've pissed my pants in North and South America, shit my britches in Africa and Europe, didn't make it on time in Asia, involuntary brown thunder while I was Down Under, and couldn't hold it in on a cruise to Antarctica....

  • I've run out of Rocco....

  • I've seen a lot of things in my time....

  • I've started a business building yachts in my attic....

  • I've worked really hard and only achieved becoming a taxi driver....

  • I've yet to be in a car crash....

  • If a boat with a galley goes down in a storm;...

  • If a cop pulls over a u-haul......

  • if a man named miles traveled to europe....

  • If a police officer pulls over a U-Haul....

  • If Americans were to switch from pounds to kilos overnight....

  • If anyone needs help changing the time on......

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