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  • The older I get, the more I realize that sitting to pee is the way to go but....

  • The older I get, the more I regret all the people I've lost over the years....

  • The one hygiene item I'm surprised TSA lets......

  • The original dad joke but it works on......

  • The other day I got a Russian Uber......

  • The other day I saw this couple weaving all over the road....

  • The peak of dad humor....

  • The person who named The English Channel missed a big opportunity....

  • The pessimist sees a dark tunnel....

  • The poor kayaker lost his paddle....

  • The priest was driving me home from mass....

  • The punchline comes before the question......

  • The safety jacket yelled at the Titanic....

  • The sign said "Road Work Ahead"......

  • The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain today?...

  • The stewardess had pebbles in her shoes going up the stairs....

  • The thing about getting old ....

  • The Titan crew may not have been friends at the start of the trip....

  • The Vatican is starting a new airline....

  • The weather girl on the news lied....

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