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  • I told a long winded joke at work....

  • I told my British wife a joke about an elevator....

  • I told my cowoker I was going skydiving labor day weekend and he asked how many feet I was diving from....

  • I told my dietician that I felt nauseous......

  • I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places....

  • I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places....

  • I told my friend I'm going on vacation......

  • I told my shrink that the limited seating......

  • I told my teacher that i had made a model of Mount Everest....

  • I told my wife I was going to......

  • I told my wife I'd made a car......

  • I told myself I would pronounce the name of my Thai tourist destination correctly, and practiced and practiced....

  • I took a course in speed waiting....

  • I took a dump at the airport......

  • I took a lady friend to Vermont to......

  • I took a new job testing hoverboards at......

  • I took a pole and found that....

  • I Took a Tour of a Craft Beer Place....

  • I took a tour of a Dairy...

  • I took a tour of a defunct candy factory, but it smelled more like chocolate....

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