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  • My wife said that if I didn't stop making jokes about luggage that she was going to kick me out of the house, change the locks, send the kids to live with her parents, and she was going back to school....

  • My wife said that if I don't get off my computer and help her with the dishes she will slam my head into the keyboard....

  • My wife said that it would hurt her feelings if I kept making jokes about Hootie & the Blowfish....

  • My wife said the best sex she ever has was on vacation last year....

  • My wife said the garden hose wasn't working anymore....

  • My wife said to me "what starts in......

  • My wife said, "Change one letter of any word to describe me"....

  • My wife said, "Don't mix the eggs too much, you might ruin them!...

  • My wife said, "he looks like a...

  • My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis....

  • My wife said, "I'm backing the car in the garage....

  • My wife said, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?...

  • My wife said, "You've told me 14 tennis jokes today and it's getting annoying!...

  • My wife said:...

  • My wife sat me down and told me how important Valentine's Day is to her....

  • My wife sat me down last night and said , "honey, we need to address the elephant in the room....

  • My wife saw ears of corn at the store for 4 for $1....

  • My wife says I am just like a cicada....

  • My wife says I can't keep running my two-stroke at 12:...

  • My wife says I don't have a sense of direction....

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