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  • I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow....

  • I should've eaten more fiber when I went to Alaska....

  • I stepped on frozen poop this morning....

  • I stopped up the toilet this morning....

  • I think that the church should have more prayers then the Hail Mary....

  • I thought I could use my fireplace to......

  • I told my Canadian friend that the North......

  • I told my wife that we should put a tepee in our backyard with colored lights....

  • I took a trip to Argentina last week......

  • I tried archery, but I lost the one arrow I had after a single shot....

  • I wanted to get a job at an ice cream shop....

  • I wanted to make a 3 egg omlete and was very sad when I opened the fridge and saw no eggs....

  • I was engaged to a woman who worked......

  • I was going to tell some jokes about ski resorts....

  • I was infuriated to find my two-year-old daughter had placed my Game Boy in a bowl of ice cubes....

  • I was scared that my daughter was turning......

  • I was setting up a new account and it asked me for a password with at least 8 characters....

  • I was supposed to meet a snowstorm today....

  • I was talking with my friend Caroline......

  • I watched a documentary about how this fish that looks like a snake survives the Winter....

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